Comments for BlOgStEr http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org HEY PRADONGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sat, 05 Jul 2008 19:27:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.5 Comment on Family Reunion by nasirajohnson http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/family-reunion/#comment-22 nasirajohnson Tue, 10 Jun 2008 23:39:06 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/family-reunion/#comment-22 I CANT READ ALL OF IT BUT I READ SOME AND IT WAS GREAT... PRADINYA I ALSO READ YOUR SONNET, MAN, YOU ARE SO DEEP.... I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.... WOW, PRADINYA, YOU SURPRISED ME.. THIS IS A NEW SIDE OF YOU I JUST DISCOVERED....... -NASIRA ♥ I CANT READ ALL OF IT BUT I READ SOME AND IT WAS GREAT…
PRADINYA I ALSO READ YOUR SONNET, MAN, YOU ARE SO DEEP….
I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW….
WOW, PRADINYA, YOU SURPRISED ME..
THIS IS A NEW SIDE OF YOU I JUST DISCOVERED…….
-NASIRA ♥

]]> Comment on Taste of India by yasminasorce http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/taste-of-india/#comment-21 yasminasorce Fri, 06 Jun 2008 02:50:17 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/taste-of-india/#comment-21 pradinya, your essay was brilliant, i never understood so much about indian food, just the thought of it makes me really hungry. you used alot of important aspects to make your essay as sucessful as it is. few suggestions: 1, in the first sentence, it might sound better if you say " Indian food has a wide range in..." 2. in the last sentence of the first paragraph, i suggest adding a 'however' at the beginning of the sentence. 3. sit down family dinners should be a paragraph on its own, becuase your explaining the indian culture and how it ties into the food that is consumed. this couldve strengthened your paper 4.in the third paragraph, second line, i suggest adding a 'however' to " this cannot always be accomplished" 5. in the fourth paragraph, on the first line, you should say " foods of india are better known for their spiciness" 6. on the third line of the fourth paragraph, the last word, "are" should become 'were', because the spices that were chosen thousands of years ago is a past tense. a job well done yasmina pradinya,
your essay was brilliant, i never understood so much about indian food, just the thought of it makes me really hungry. you used alot of important aspects to make your essay as sucessful as it is.
few suggestions:
1, in the first sentence, it might sound better if you say ” Indian food has a wide range in…”
2. in the last sentence of the first paragraph, i suggest adding a ‘however’ at the beginning of the sentence.
3. sit down family dinners should be a paragraph on its own, becuase your explaining the indian culture and how it ties into the food that is consumed. this couldve strengthened your paper
4.in the third paragraph, second line, i suggest adding a ‘however’ to ” this cannot always be accomplished”
5. in the fourth paragraph, on the first line, you should say ” foods of india are better known for their spiciness”
6. on the third line of the fourth paragraph, the last word, “are” should become ‘were’, because the spices that were chosen thousands of years ago is a past tense.

a job well done
yasmina

]]> Comment on GRADUATION SPEECH by yasminasorce http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/graduation-speech/#comment-20 yasminasorce Fri, 06 Jun 2008 02:39:33 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/graduation-speech/#comment-20 pradinya you hit some really important points in your speech. however, every line in the first paragraph was its own topic. it might help if you take each topic and write about it in its own paragraph, using anecdotes and common misconceptions that a teen faces on an average basis. it wont only strengthen your speech, but it will also add a little more lengthiness to it. in the last paragraph, in the second line, when you talk about blame, you might want to change the wording, your verb tenses dont really match. also, your own meaning of responsibility can also be its own paragraph or even a conclusion if you word it properly. But most of all, your speech was to the point, and didnt beat around the bush, which is important in speeches and writing in general. good job yasmina pradinya

you hit some really important points in your speech. however, every line in the first paragraph was its own topic. it might help if you take each topic and write about it in its own paragraph, using anecdotes and common misconceptions that a teen faces on an average basis. it wont only strengthen your speech, but it will also add a little more lengthiness to it.

in the last paragraph, in the second line, when you talk about blame, you might want to change the wording, your verb tenses dont really match. also, your own meaning of responsibility can also be its own paragraph or even a conclusion if you word it properly.

But most of all, your speech was to the point, and didnt beat around the bush, which is important in speeches and writing in general.

good job
yasmina

]]> Comment on Ode To Cookies by orlynsorce http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/02/20/ode-to-cookies/#comment-19 orlynsorce Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:23:45 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/02/20/ode-to-cookies/#comment-19 It's nice. But the "u"s should be "you"'s and I think their needs to be an ending in sequence. Like eating it. The beginning sounds like a song! "It's crunchy! Munchy! And Chocolaty! I'm cookoo for coco puffs!" It is more fun to sing than to read. It’s nice. But the “u”s should be “you”’s and I think their needs to be an ending in sequence. Like eating it. The beginning sounds like a song! “It’s crunchy! Munchy! And Chocolaty! I’m cookoo for coco puffs!” It is more fun to sing than to read.

]]> Comment on Free Verse Poem by nissazafarkhan http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/04/01/free-verse-poem/#comment-17 nissazafarkhan Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:01:21 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/04/01/free-verse-poem/#comment-17 It was good! It was good!

]]> Comment on Free Verse Poem by yasminasorce http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/04/01/free-verse-poem/#comment-16 yasminasorce Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:56:27 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/04/01/free-verse-poem/#comment-16 very good pradinya are you going to adapt it into a song, cuz i didnt understand the Oh Oh Oh part. it was also kinda confusing. Whats in here, is it your heart??? the use of repetition is an awesome idea, but i suggest clearing up your poem, so that the repetition sounds more awesome. other than that, very good, and you conveyed your message very clearly..... yasmina very good pradinya

are you going to adapt it into a song, cuz i didnt understand the Oh Oh Oh part. it was also kinda confusing. Whats in here, is it your heart??? the use of repetition is an awesome idea, but i suggest clearing up your poem, so that the repetition sounds more awesome. other than that, very good, and you conveyed your message very clearly…..

yasmina

]]> Comment on Free Verse Poem by jessiesorce http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/04/01/free-verse-poem/#comment-15 jessiesorce Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:54:24 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/04/01/free-verse-poem/#comment-15 At the end you shouldn't say character, you should say imaginary person. It confused me when you say character. At the end you shouldn’t say character, you should say imaginary person. It confused me when you say character.

]]> Comment on Free Verse Poem by eemansorce http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/04/01/free-verse-poem/#comment-13 eemansorce Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:26:03 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/04/01/free-verse-poem/#comment-13 Pradinya.... I liked it...but i was confused. Your point of view changes ( I think). Who is he? Who is me? Am I you? Are you someone else? Or just you telling me about him??? Why is it so good in hear. I liked your free verse, something about it was awesome, if i would to compare it to something, it would be listening to a song in a foreign language, liking it but it doesnt make any sense. Does that make sense? :-) aaah ok i confused myself. Pradinya…. I liked it…but i was confused. Your point of view changes ( I think). Who is he? Who is me? Am I you? Are you someone else? Or just you telling me about him??? Why is it so good in hear. I liked your free verse, something about it was awesome, if i would to compare it to something, it would be listening to a song in a foreign language, liking it but it doesnt make any sense. Does that make sense? :-) aaah ok i confused myself.

]]> Comment on Ode To Cookies by nasirajohnson http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/02/20/ode-to-cookies/#comment-11 nasirajohnson Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:42:56 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/02/20/ode-to-cookies/#comment-11 C00ki3z R aW3s0m3!!!!! iT wAs A $h0rT bUt niC3.... K33p 0n k33piN' 0n... - Nasira ♥ C00ki3z R aW3s0m3!!!!!
iT wAs A $h0rT bUt niC3….
K33p 0n k33piN’ 0n…

- Nasira ♥

]]> Comment on Ode To Cookies by jessiesorce http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/02/20/ode-to-cookies/#comment-9 jessiesorce Mon, 25 Feb 2008 21:51:46 +0000 http://pradinyashastri.learnerblogs.org/2008/02/20/ode-to-cookies/#comment-9 I made cookies (like a billion times) and it smelled GREAT!!!-jessie I made cookies (like a billion times) and it smelled GREAT!!!-jessie

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